Emotion state going back 10 years ago.
This time I don’t want to disappear.
I rather wish they would.
I can’t find myself being forgiving.
Too busy being stress out to think for others.
I can not agree with people that live comfortably while abandoning some of the basic morals. Is it my bad to believe that there is a set of standard morals existing in this world? Is it my tragedy to want the people around me to behave like educated human beings? Am I not supposed to think that good humans should not throw garbage on the ground, not leave their shit inconveniently for others, they should chew with their mouths closed, wash their hands after going to the bathroom, respect others belongings, keep themselves and their surroundings hygienic, watch their freaking children…etc. I am not saying people can not make mistakes and forget how to behave saintly. I am not saying all should be perfect at all times…but I start to realize some people refuse to become better and are always hateful of others judgment. They turn others judgements into noises and find excuses to justify their ignorances. I can not help but to think that to them morals mean less to their comfort.
I was once a disgusting human being. I troubled my roommates because I was inconsiderate of others and only cared about my own comfort. People got sick of me and left. I’ve learned how disgusting I was to drive others away from me. I am still steps away from the better person I want to be, but I will keep taking those steps. For some people, they still just standing there, enjoying their comfort. I feel sad and disgusted at the same time because these people are close to me. I understand now why people left me back then. Now I will be doing the same thing to those disgusting people. I am getting the fuck out of here because at the end, I can not change people who do not want to be changed.